I thought I was the only one who felt this way. For the longest time I allowed too much power to that little voice in the back of my head.
You see, as ambitious as I am, I’ve struggled with reaching my destiny because I’ve feared having to change as a person. I’ve feared having to evolve into something that might scare my present self. Something that my close ones wouldn’t recognize.
Not necessarily something evil or something unlovable. Just something DIFFERENT.
It wasn’t until I started studying thinkers like Steven Pressfield and Marianne Williamson that I realized A LOT of others go through this also.
According to these authors we’re more afraid of success than we are of failure. Because in order to reach success we have to inherently change parts of ourselves. We have to symbolically “pass through a membrane” in the process of utilizing our full potential. This is inevitable in order to become the person we sense in our hearts we truly are. And this is scary shit.
It might not always be the core beliefs that change, but a lot of the outer layer stuff that third parties will perceive first.
What if I end up losing certain parts of my inner being? I kinda like this Alex that’s taken 28 years to build. Can I keep my optimism and still succeed? Can I keep my sincere appreciation for corny jokes and still be a great leader of humans? Will I end up a weirdo like Larry Ellison or countless other successful CEOs? Who knows.
I identify a lot with my friends and family. What if this successful person I’m meant to become clashes with my close ones? Good friends are really hard to find.
For better or worse, this is now a risk I’m willing to take. I’ve mentally traced out my life years into the future and I’m willing to part with it in the quest of something great. No risk, no reward.
Those who matter will understand. Down the road if not immediately.
Williamson said: “And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
I like the sound of that.