How To Create Your Best Self w Miss Nu

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People are always staring at her.
“Can I touch your stomach?” is the question that they always ask first.
Miss Nu is someone who’s gone from the lowest of lows to the highest of highs when it comes to personal acceptance, you’ll see what I mean.
She currently competes in national bodybuilding competitions, coaches others, inspires 10 thousand fans over Instagram, and does all this while maintaining a position as Director at a major Pharma corporation.
In this episode we go deep, I mean DEEEEP, on what she has done to climb out of depression and into her best self. These are things we should all implement into our lives IMMEDIATELY.
Music Written and Produced by Ben Murray-Smith

Is Impatience Ruining Your Career? Your Hobbies Can Answer That – with Louis Cortes

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Louis Cortes, a good friend of mine and brilliant marketer, shares his story with us. He is impatient, and this is evident by his favorite hobby: cars. In this episode we dig deep into our favorite activities, to see what they reveal about us. It turns out that our patience, or lackthereof, could very well be the thing preventing us from the success we so badly want.

Music by Ben Murray-Smith

The Trick to Getting Good at Anything

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“Santa’s gonna stop giving you gifts, and so am I.” That’s something my mom would tell me all the time as a kid.

I wouldn’t listen.

At around age 5 or 6 one of my favorite things to do was take apart toys that I was tired of playing with.

You know how it is, you get a shiny new toy and then a week later it’s tossed in the corner gathering dust. But then curiosity sets in, and I would challenge myself to take them apart, look inside them to see how it was made, and then try to re-assemble them.

I rarely succeeded, the complicated toys would never work properly again, and the simple ones just couldn’t be glued back together.

Eventually I just used the parts to create new toys. The head of a toy robot would get glued on the body of Tarzan, and the broken stock of a toy rifle would become a hovercraft for GI Joes.

The electric toys were really fun because you could take out the little working motors, glue wings and propellers onto them, and they would turn into miniature planes.

I think this little form of playing really helped me once it came time for school math and science. I developed a curiosity for learning how things work on the inside. I’m sure you probably had similar experiences. This is why the mind of a kid can learn things so quickly.

Well, it turns out that this is a not-so-secret formula for getting good at almost anything. If done properly. But sadly, as adults with lots to do and little time to get it done, we usually rush and skip the one important step that makes or breaks our ability to learn.

We usually study something, then we try to create our own. We go from dissection to creation.

But the important step that goes between dissection and creation is re-creation, or in other words, imitation.

Kobe Bryant, the basketball player, throughout his career got a lot of criticism for being a Michael Jordan wannabe. The Kobe haters will tell you “he wants to be MJ so bad. Look, he copied his fadeaway jumper, his first-step to the basket, and even the signature Jordan tongue-out dunk was done by Kobe” I don’t think Kobe did this on purpose, I’m willing to bet he got stuck that way due to the hours and hours he spent trying to de-construct how Jordan played, and then re-creating it himself.” Kobe didn’t simply study, he imitated move by move to absorb its power, then worked from there. Maybe he was a wannabe. But he wannabe’d himself into the Hall of Fame. Not bad I say, not bad.

I gotta admit, I’m a shameless imitator also. It’s part of my process

I can’t remember where I read it, but there was an interview where a writer said that he got so tired of struggling with his writing, that he took one of his favorite books and re-typed it word by word. He sat there typing away in hopes that his fingertips would pick up some of the author’s magic. No magic was transferred, but in the process he started to see the elements that made the writing work. Stuff he didn’t see by merely reading the book. As they say: learning how to ride a bike can’t be taught at a seminar.

After reading that story of the author, I went and did the same thing. I picked up one of my favorite books “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield and I re-typed it cover to cover.

At the end of each paragraph I would pause for a few moments, and ask myself, “What makes this good?” “How would I have said this in my own words?” I tried to anticipate his next sentence by coming up with the next phrase I think should go there. And quickly realized how horrible of a writer I am. I was now able to see the huge gap there both in clarity, and in wittiness. It was excruciating, but also encouraging. Even in learning how bad you are, it means you’re at least learning. You now know something you didn’t know yesterday.

That’s something you can build from. But just getting there takes a lot of work. It starts with imitation.
Before I started my podcast I did the same thing. I chose an episode of Radiolab, one of the best podcasts out there, then downloaded the audio file, and then I went to the transcript that they provide on their website. In my audio program I put the Radiolab file on one track, and then I used a second track to record myself reading the transcript. I would figure out how much time I had to read a portion of text and I’d keep trying until my voice would match up to what they were saying. I would play it back and then study what was different between the two.

In doing this, I learned to notice what they do to keep an audience engaged. I started seeing what the difficult things were, how the audio complements the writing, and how they use music to pace the whole thing properly.

Once again, there was a huge gap there between what they did and what I am capable of, but at least now I know what to work on.

I think these are the two most important reasons to start imitating your favorite creator’s work:

Number 1- Before you create, you have one idea of what you will struggle with. But then when you start, you realize you have a whole new set of problems.

Let’s say you want to start a clothing line. You think the hard part of launching a clothing line is coming up with a quirky design, or coming up with a cool brand name. But in reality, let’s say that you decide to just re-create a famous jacket for yourself and your five closest friends. You’ll soon realize that the difficult part is sourcing the materials, choosing the right manufacturing process, and getting the distribution right. But if you don’t try it through imitation first, you’re being led astray by fears and worries that are likely to be the easiest parts of the process.

The things you thought would be hard, are actually not that difficult. And the real roadblocks make themselves visible. Imitation lets you start quickly without wasting time planning something original.

Number 2- Going beyond just seeing the problems, when you imitate something good, ALL the elements of a project reveal themselves to you. You now see that a play has smaller parts than just the three acts, a joke goes beyond the setup and punchline, and a song isn’t just three verses with a repeating chorus. You see the parts between the parts. And how they work together.

So here’s how you start on your own journey of imitation:

Pick something you like and is also popular in the field you want to master. I recommend something that is a minimum of three years old. Sometimes new things become popular just for being new, and their crappiness takes a year or two to really show itself. You want to imitate something that has proven to be valuable.

Next, write down what you like about it, and what you think would be the biggest obstacle you would face if you were the one first creating this type of work. Put yourself in the setting that the first guy or gal lived in.

Then, just start re-creating it. Work in hour-long chunks of time per day, but pick an interval of smaller periods to stop and think about what you just did. Compare your expectations to what the original creator actually did. What surprised you about the actual direction versus what you thought was coming?

The final step is to do it all over again–with something else. Pick something new and imitate. A few repetitions in and you’ll have picked up the skill of noticing. Now it’s part of you, and you’ll be able to apply it instantly out in the real world.

It may not be as fun as taking apart an old toy and putting it back together, but this skill is gonna feel like a shiny new toy from Santa. One you’re gonna want to keep handy.

What all creators should learn from Monet’s process

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Can a painting really be worth $80 Million dollars?

It boggles my mind, but in 2008, a painting of Water Lillies by Claude Monet was sold at auction for $80 Million Dollars. Claude Monet had been dead for over 70 years at that point, but even while he was alive–his paintings were in high demand and selling for large amounts.

The man’s fame was only superseded by his skill.

We’ve all grown up hearing the name Monet, mostly in books and movies for me, but I didn’t really become interested in his work until I saw another of his water lilly paintings on display at The Met. Now, I’m no art connoisseur, but seeing his painting in real life made an impression on me, even though I can’t explain why.

So I did a little bit of research on the artist. I wanted to know what all the hype was about, and what made his art so valuable.

What I found was a useful lesson in how to become a true professional at your art. I think anyone who builds things or creates art should incorporate some of it into their own process. I’d like to share these insights with you.

Now, for those of you not familiar with Monet, his best known works are of outdoorsy things. He got paid so well for his art that he was able to buy a huge estate in the North of France. He had a staff of gardeners that would make his gardens nice and pretty. He would import flower seeds from all over the world so that his garden looked like no other garden in the area. And no, this isn’t my first point, the key to great art isn’t having a better manor than the Joneses.

My first point is that Monet became a master through the concept of hyperfocus. Those water lillies in the painting that sold for $80 Million, he painted those water lillies over 90 times. For a span of 20 years, from 1899 to 1919, he made 90 separate paintings of the water lillies. You would think the guy would get bored of painting the same thing over and over, or that the public would get tired of seeing them, but no, this all made him more popular. He painted lots of other things over this time, but it would never be a one-off.

His focus on one subject over dozens of paintings allowed him to start seeing details no one else could see. It’s almost like the X-ray powers that Superman has in the comics. His paintings rose to a whole nother level because of the hyper-focus.

Now I ask you, what small part of your craft are you half-assing? Are you taking the time to repeat and deconstruct your process like a boxer jabbing hundreds of times a day just to find the perfect striking angle?

Another important factor in Monet’s popularity was how he embraced his style. Yes, he painted works about nature, and he did everything over and over. But he did this for a stylistic purpose even more than for mere practice. He would paint the same subject from different angles each time, and at different stages over the day. It would become its own study in the passing of time.

The critics LOVED him for this.

And he became the most popular of the painters labeled Impressionists. He was proud to be a member of this group. Proof that style and substance don’t need to cancel each other out.

As it was noted in his Wikipedia entry: “He began to think in terms of colours and shapes rather than scenes and objects. He used bright colours in dabs and dashes and squiggles of paint. Having rejected the academic teachings of Gleyre’s studio, he freed himself from theory, saying “I like to paint as a bird sings.””

But let’s not forget, although this approach was considered ‘going against the grain’ at this time, It doesn’t mean he couldn’t work within the rules. This man studied in Paris, he learned the “rules” of painting, and then he proceeded to smash those rules.

That’s the third thing I wanted to point out about his process. Being a trendsetter doesn’t excuse you from studying the rules. Creating something new means breaking the rules through boldness, not through ignorance. The message gets lost in translation if your art is simply covering up laziness, as opposed to showing off your need to rebel. Laziness isn’t sexy, rebelliousness is.

If it’s not yet clear to you, becoming great at whatever you do, is not an easy thing. For Monet, this required him to hyperfocus on a single subject over years and years.

Secondly, it meant he had to essentially pigeonhole himself within a label, then learning to love that label, and to leverage that label.

Then the third thing that helped Monet become the best was that he first mastered the rules, THEN he mastered the ways in which to break them. It doesn’t have the same effect in reverse.

It’s a huge sacrifice, putting all this time into a craft. And speaking of sacrifices, Monet himself realized the huge price to be paid for genius. His wife was suffering from Cancer at the young age of 32, and when the cancer took her life, Monet stood at her deathbed, but instead of crying or grieving like a normal person would, all he could was get to work then and there. He made a painting of his dead wife as she lay there.

Monet confessed to his friend Georges Clemenceau that his need to analyse colours was both the joy and torment of his life.

He explained:
“I one day found myself looking at my beloved wife’s dead face and just systematically noting the colours according to an automatic reflex!”

Now you understand the makings of a master.

Is Your Idea Any Good? Why The Three Day Rule Works

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Matthew Weiner is a great case study on commitment to an idea.

He wrote the pilot episode of Mad Men in 1999, and started pitching it to studios right away. Everyone passed on it, but he kept pitching it and trying to find a buyer. It would be seven years before it got picked up, to instant acclaim. Matt knew that it had been a great idea all along.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, are you and I. Us “Generation Y’ers” and Millenials are characterized by an abundance of ideas, but poor follow up. We get a rush of excitement and quickly lose that energy because our idea is “not good enough.”

I gotta admit that I’ve spent a good amount of time, energy, money, and pride going after an idea for a couple days in a flourish of enthusiasm, just to wind up quitting a couple days later when the rush is gone. Like my investment club idea, which I eagerly told my friends about, and then gave up on it the next day when I realized how much work it would take.

Even with my writing and speeches, I’ll start on tons of ideas, but I finish very few.

So I had to come up with some type of filter to keep me more focused and accountable. What I came up with is one simple test: the three day rule.

When I get an idea, I write it down with as many details and action points as possible. Then, no matter how energized by it I am, if it’s not something that can get finished in that moment, I put it away for a couple days. I stop myself from mentioning it to others. I come back to it on the third day, and if the idea still creates some excitement in me, if it doesn’t sound like complete foolishness, I commit and start work on it.

It shouldn’t surprise you to hear that 80% of the ideas I write down actually fail this Three Day Test. Either they’re too bland or they’re too fluffy with no actual substance.

I think you should try this too, that’s if you suffer from the idea virus like I do. Start a master list with all your ideas, whether for a business, for a creative project, or for any other endeavor that requires time. Don’t take immediate action when that first light bulb goes off, instead, just write it down, and check back on it three days later. THEN you can make a decision on it. If it’s still a YES, go full-force.

I’ve already saved myself a lot of time and money now that I’m not carried away by every silly little thought that comes around when I’m riding high on coffee in the morning.

And Here’s another benefit: by jotting down your ideas and then leaving them there, you start to create a backlog of half-baked ideas that could one day turn out to be worthwhile.

Like when I write: I no longer have to worry about not having inspiration, I just open up my list of ideas and pick the idea that jumps out to me the most, the one that is most baked, ready for the magic touch from Chef Alex.

The other benefit of the Three Day Rule is, the good ideas have a way of sticking to the back of your brain, like a piece of gum in your sister’s hair. Oh, it’s gonna take some serious effort to get it out of there. But you want the good ideas to stick around. In those two days in between, if your idea has some potential, it will have taken better shape through unconscious thought. You’d be surprised at what a relaxed brain will indirectly come up with.

Then once you’ve waited, if you’re still fired up, you can start work on this improved idea.

The three day Rule works for me, and the reason it works is because time is an amplifier: it destroys what is weak, and highlights what is strong. That’s what we mean when we say something stands the test of time. Same principle here. Sure, the idea sounds good right now, but don’t act yet. Just list it and resist it.