Category: Lessons from other Areas

Hi-jacking their love

Quick tip on how to get anyone to care about what you’re saying. Works for delivering a presentation at work, building a business, or even just telling a story to a group of friends.

Billy Wilder’s three act structure:

Act 1: Get your hero up a tree
Act 2: Set the tree on fire
Act 3: Get your hero down from the tree

The key is the drama. As my mentor Al Pittampalli says “Things are good, things are bad, things are good again.”

Think about any breakthrough you’ve had in life. Things started peachy as you took a step towards something you wanted or thought you wanted.

You accepted that new job. Or you quit your job because it’s what the heart called for. Or you decided to ask your crush out on a date.

Then things got tough and obstacles appeared. Your relationship demanded all your emotional energy just to maintain. Your tree caught on fire.

You started doubting whether you could continue forward. Drama and conflict.

Then you made that move that salvaged the situation. You got down from the tree, with or without scars. With a lot or a little glory. But you made it.

The power is in the resolution of the drama. You are back on solid ground after being scared shitless a moment ago.

You still with me? Of course you are, look up at the structure of the post.

Your success, your war, your way

SUCCESS

Don’t let others determine it.  Their goals and your goals are different. Your road will be different from theirs. Get to know your road and don’t look at anyone else’s.

BATTLES

You will lose some from time to time.  Quite often in the beginning. But it’s ok, this is how you build up your resiliency against judgment.  The war has many battles. Move on to the next battle asap and make sure your aim is to win the war. YOUR war. Not theirs.

ALLIES

Collect them. Nourish them. Inspire them. (T)ogether (E)veryone (A)chieves (M)ore. Listen to them when your will is weak and theirs is strong. Know when to cut ties if they refuse to be helped, you should aim to bring them with you but too much negative weight will drag you down with them. Your true friends will move out of your way if it’s what’s best. You can always come back and help them once you have momentum.

VICTORY

It’s determined by strength of will and clarity of purpose. Check your goals then check your will to win. Then just brace yourself for triumph.

Habit

The biggest force in the world is habit.  We humans learn from a young age to seek security by sticking with the same tasks, people, routines, and places we interact with most often.

This makes for a pretty dull life

Therefore, if the biggest force is habit then imagine the power that breaking a habit can have on its immediate surroundings.

Any deviation from a habit attracts attention and creates a tipping point you can use to your advantage.  People look for any distraction from the dullness as long as it takes little effort on their part.  They just want to escape and be surprised if even for a short moment in time.

Be that escape for others and you can write your own ticket to success.

Roads

Everyone has a different road to success. For some it’s a straight short road, unpaved and difficult to gain speed on.  You can see the finish line but at this pace it feels like you’ll never get there.

But for some it’s a long winding super speedway full of dangerous hairpin turns that oftentimes have you facing in the opposite direction at 100mph just to get through to the next dangerous curve. You can’t slow down otherwise you’ll never make it through to the end. And if you stop for a second you’ll forget what general direction you were headed in.

I don’t know which one I prefer. Both are equally exhausting. Emotionally and physically.  But I bet we would all want to trade for the other road if given the chance.

Don’t trade.  Learn to either admire the scenery of the short dirt road or the thrill of the long speedway.  Once you’re at the finish line you might not get another lap.

Why boldness wins

Everyone ranging from religious organizations to motivational speakers emphasize the need for bold action in order to achieve our goals.  Boldness wins for many reasons, but some aren’t that obvious.

One of these hidden reasons is that boldness by nature backs you into a corner.  When you’re backed into a corner you fight harder.  Boldness also thrusts you into uncomfortable situations where you will go through some suffering and temporary setbacks.

Don’t take this suffering for granted.  It’s there for a reason. Don’t flinch waiting for it to subside.  Embrace it and leverage it as motivation for other pursuits.

The best way of looking at this is to compare two things.  All throughout my school days I would procrastinate on my homework.  If I had two assignments, I’d usually start on the easier one to keep me “busy” as an excuse to not start on the first.

We usually hate organizing our junk at home, but the second you have tough research or work to do it almost seems like a pleasantry to  clean up at that time.  It’s all due to comparison.  When going through tough times the less-tough tasks seem to be enjoyable all of a sudden.

If you’re going through hell why not use that time and available heat to roast some marshmallows?  At least you can claim you had a warm dessert down there.

Experimentation

The other day I wrote about exposing yourself to different situations in order to realize that you already possess all the tools you need and all that’s left is some fine-tuning.  Fine-tuning equates to experimenting.

Edison said it best “I have never failed. What I’ve done is successfully identify 3,000 ways that will not work.”

Experimenting is the key to success. You must experience everything to realize what works and what doesn’t. The hard part about experimenting is juggling all the action you’re taking with the thinking and observing that’s required. Most get stuck observing, or fall prey to mindless action.

A pro knows how to alternate between observation and taking action.  Not just act, not just observe, but both.

Books and timing

Have you found yourself re-reading a book years later and a bunch of brand new information pops out at you?

I’ve been running into this a lot lately.  The first time I would read it my mind wasn’t open enough to grasp the lessons between the lines.  But the second time there’s earth-shattering stuff to be found in there all over the place.

It also means two individuals will likely find different information in the same book.

This leads me to believe that we have an infinite spring of knowledge inside us already.  It isn’t just the book providing us with it, it’s been in there all along but we haven’t had the ability to dip into that part of the brain before.

In essence this is where inspiration comes into play.  Inspiration is that missing ingredient that creates the chemical reaction we call learning.  It can’t be forced out, it can only be freed.

This is what they mean when they say “think freely.”  Aha!

Expectations

Whenever I’m feeling down or out of it I like to go back and watch this Tony Robbins video.  The gist of what he’s saying is that life will pay whatever price you ask of it.  The difference between the greats and the mediocre is that the greats ask more from life.

In order to truly, honestly, I-know-it’ll-come-surely ask more from life you have to first expect more from yourself.  THAT is the start of it all.  When you hold yourself to a higher standard and expect more from yourself that’s when you’ll start asking more from life, and life will reward you with what you ask of it.

For those who will counter with “well how does someone take that step towards expecting more from themselves?  Some people just have low confidence.”  The answer: expose yourself to the world and you’ll soon realize that you already possess most of the tools you need to achieve greatness.  All it takes is some fine-tuning of those tools that can only be done through experiencing new situations and dealing with anxiety.

These new situations will put you side by side with your peers and you’ll see you’re just as worthy as they are, if not more worthy.

In life the person who usually wins is the one who thinks he can.  That’s what my good friend Eric Garcia says.

So to recap: Expose-> Realize-> Expect-> Ask-> Receive.

That’s the formula. Plug in your own factors.