Communication is a faceoff of realities. Every conversation or every argument is a tango of two worldviews.
Since perception is reality then whoever believes most in their reality is who will dominate a conversation and impose their reality on the other person.
Believe in your reality (trust me it is YOURS and yours only) and you’ll find that you will get everything you want in life. This obviously doesn’t make you too likeable of a person. Exciting maybe. But not always likeable.
Of course, those who have mastered the artform can impose their reality and do it in a way in which the other person welcomes this new point of view, they are both right and likeable. You can find these people in corner offices across the country.
Growing up basketball was my life. I played anywhere from 3 to 6 hours every day, and the other hours of the day were spent thinking about playing.
I mention it to illustrate one of the worst feelings ever: being in the playground and being chosen last. Or not even being chosen on a team at all.
It’s good to be valued, and it’s good to be liked. It makes us feel good. But eventually I got fed up with waiting to be picked so I practiced free throws and ensured I would earn the captain spot by making the first shot.
I stopped waiting to be picked and I picked myself first. Mr. Godin would agree.
However as life progressed I seem to have forgotten this lesson. Why do I wait to be offered a dream job? Why do I wait for validation from others to realize that my work is good and serves a purpose?
Somewhere along this 15 year journey between 13 and 28 I forgot that if you don’t pick yourself no one else will. If you do luck out and get chosen then you’re beholden to the picker for your esteem. Side dish of crapola.
When you become the picker you’re determining your worth. You appointed yourself captain of the team and are accepting the challenge of living up to this standard. And your standards are the only ones that really matter.
You bet on yourself and if you lose you only have one person to answer to. Numero uno. I can live with that.