Comedians have a saying “It’s ALL material.”
This is their way of accepting the good things and bad things that life brings. To them, EVERYTHING can be used as fuel for their career.
Jerry Seinfeld is probably the highest-earning comedian of all time, and he put it like this: “All good comedy comes from a place of anger. Figure out what’s making you angry and work on it from there.”
Of course, this sounds easy in theory, but it’s NOT so easy to actually practice.
I love the way David Mamet, the playwright and screenwriter puts it in his Masterclass:
“It’s hard to remember that you set out to drain the swamp when you’re up to your ass in alligators.”
When we’re trying to drain the swamp in our lives, those alligators are mighty scary. And as we know, reality bites. But today I’m here to argue that if you take a couple simple steps–which I will lay out for you in the next couple minutes— then every single bite from reality can be turned into literal–and figurative–money in your pocket.
What I suggest is that we wrestle away any power that bad times have over our lives, and then channel this power into fuel to get us where we need to go. If it sounds like a bad Kanye song, worry not, I have 4 tangible steps that will get you there. Let’s dive in:
What Artists Know: Embrace Your Limitations
The artist Saul Steinberg said we should just make shit and not worry about how good we are at it. The reason?! He explained it to his pal Kurt Vonnegut, who visited him in his studio one day. During this visit Vonnegut demanded that he explain why our talent doesn’t matter, and Steinberg told him “we’re not attracted to talent, what we really respond to is the artist’s struggle against his or her limitations.”
These limitations are sometimes a lack of tools or ingredients.
If you’ll forgive me for bringing in an example I’ve used before, let me call to your attention the entrepreneur Sara Blakely. She’s the founder of Spanx, and a self-made Billionaire. Her goal wasn’t to become one of the richest women in the country, she was just a travelling salesperson in Florida offering copy machines. Her problem was that the she had to wear pantyhose for work but hated how the seam at the feet looked with open-toed shoes. This is how she described her breakthrough story in an interview with CNN:
“One day in a frustrated moment I couldn’t figure out what to wear under my white pants, like so many women. I cut the feet out of control-top pantyhose and threw them on under the pants and they worked perfectly. They created the perfect canvas, they didn’t leave any lines, they smoothed everything out, but they rolled up my legs all night. And so I said ‘I gotta figure out how make this stop comfortably below the knee, and create a whole new kind of undergarment for women that was in-between traditional underwear that we had to choose from, and the heavy duty shapers girtles…”
Today’s business people understand a proven concept: “Don’t make a half-ass product, make a half a product.” That’s what Sara Blakely did, she took away parts from a complete product, and made it work better. The limitations opened up a whole new market.
But more often, the struggle against limitations is simply a person whose goals are constantly trampled by life’s circumstances.
For Adele, her limitation back in 2010 was simply–paralyzing heartbreak. She had seen a little bit of success with her first album by writing about her small town upbringing and teenage love. But then she ran into adult love. This kind of love is more about compromise and choices than about 3 hour phone calls and matching sneakers.
She even cancelled a tour just to be with her boyfriend all the time. Then, he left her. And her record label was asking her for a new album, but she couldn’t make herself write anything. All she could do was cry about losing her lover. She got writer’s block.
But, eventually she realized she had to get moving. If all she could think about was her ex-lover, then she would write every song about him and the toxic relationship they had.
I think we all know how this turned out.
She wrote songs like “Rolling in The Deep” and “Someone Like You”… and the album 21 has sold over 20million copies worldwide. That right there my friends is called “profiting from your pain.”
Ryan Holiday is today’s most popular figure on Stoic philosophy. The main thing you need to know about this form of philosophy is contained in a simple statement: “you can’t control what happens to you, all you can control is how you react.” That’s it.
Life is random. To think that there is a master plan against you is to fall into a victim mentality.
The top stoic strategy is summarized by the title of Ryan’s book. It contains so much wisdom in just 5 words. The book’s name: “The Obstacle Is The Way.”
Here’s the author with a quote from Nietzche:
My formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it . . . but love it.
—NIETZSCHE
That needs very little explanation, but it’s so powerful that it has to be re-emphasized. The thing that you think is holding you back from your goals at this stage, that very same thing is actually the path to achieving your goal.
That leads us back to the concept of limitations. If you’re a painter and your limitation this month is that you ran out of all colors except red and white, well, your struggle with making a piece called Shades of Red could potentially be your ticket to fame.
If you’re a single parent, or widowed, or were in a terrible car accident, or are going through anything that seems to be pushing your head under water, Guess what, there are tons of people that are going through similar things and need guidance. Or they just want someone to talk to. You can find purpose by helping them, and if you so choose, there’s money in it too.
In my previous jobs, I’ve noticed that I’m pretty mediocre at most things. Where I REALLY shine is when things go wrong. When the team is short-handed, or when someone messed up the document, or when the boss gets a shorter deadline, THOSE are the moments I make an impact. And those are the ones that bring job promotions.
Your Most Valuable Asset: Your Story
Which brings me to the main point I came here to make today: the way to profit from your misery is simply to SHARE YOUR STORY.
Anything you can do, there’s other people who can do the same thing, and will often do it cheaper.
The ONLY THING that someone can’t take from you, that someone can’t mimic, is your life story. Your unique perspective of a problem that millions of others are struggling with at this very moment, no one can tell that better than you can. And that’s where your leverage is, that’s where your opportunities are, that’s where the money is. It has a built-in market, if you learn how to tell it properly.
Apple’s competitive advantage is not its patents. It’s not the iPhone or iPad, although it might seem like that’s what it is… By many expert’s account the Galaxy is a better phone… No, Apple’s competitive advantage is the story of the brand. From the early 80s they’ve been telling their story. Granted, at some points better than others. But the consistency of their story has brought them loyal customers.
Here’s Simon Sinek in his popular speech at TEDx:
“Why is Apple so innovative?
Year after year, after year,
they’re more innovative than all their competition.
And yet, they’re just a computer company.
They’re just like everyone else.
They have the same access to the same talent,
the same agencies,
the same consultants, the same media.
Then why is it that they seem to have something different?”
Here’s how Apple actually communicates.
“Everything we do, we believe in challenging the status quo.
We believe in thinking differently.
The way we challenge the status quo
is by making our products beautifully designed,
simple to use and user friendly.
We just happen to make great computers.
Want to buy one?”
Totally different, right?
You’re ready to buy a computer from me.
I just reversed the order of the information.
What it proves to us is that people don’t buy what you do;
people buy why you do it.
–Simon Sinek, author of Start with Why at TEDx
So, let’s say you’re becoming convinced. You’re saying to yourself, “this guy Alex, he might have a point this time around.” If indeed you now believe me, that your story is the most valuable thing you own–then choosing NOT to tell your story of struggle and perseverance is like having a million dollars and burying it in your backyard to not invest it or spend it ever. It doesn’t make much sense, does it?
So now that you’re convinced: There’s a smart way to approach this mission. Let’s get into the simple 4-step process to creating impact from your pain.
4 Steps to Profiting From Your Problems
Step #1: Pick your medium:
Everyone has different ways in which they like to communicate. Some are great at writing, some are great at giving presentations, others are great at putting their painful moments in a drawing.
I’m most comfortable at speaking in front of a crowd, and I use podcasting as my own form of presenting to a group. This is how I’m choosing to tell my story nowadays. For you, maybe you’re great at dramatic acting, or you’re good at turning tough experiences into a funny stand-up act. They all work.
Choose an avenue, or two, or maybe even three. The key thing is that you focus on what you know best. Trying to do everything is a recipe for failure.
Also, this is not about getting famous, it’s a bout talking to your tribe in a way that’s most effective. You’re not aiming to become Elizabeth Taylor, you want to be Elizabeth Gilbert. If big fame comes your way, then that’s just an added bonus.
To use myself as an example: I mentioned podcasting as the first avenue, but I’m also focusing on my weekly email newsletter, which you should subscribe to at my website. I’m putting all my eggs into those two baskets.
Step #2: A Daily Journal
I recommend you keep a journal. It can be a physical one or just an ongoing note on your phone.
You don’t need to write a lot. You don’t even need to write in complete sentences, although I advise you do that. The important thing is that each day you write down your struggles and your goals. Remember, the obstacle is the way. Until you name the obstacle you can’t walk on it. And you can’t tell your story properly.
There’s actually an added benefit of journaling: on Wednesday I read a science-based article called “Writing about your life can help your self-esteem.” I’ll be sharing the link on my Newsletter this friday because you should really read it. They studied a random group of elderly folks and noticed that the ones who write about their life see an increase in their self-esteem. The scientists think it’s because writing about your life gives you some feeling of control over it. More study into this is needed, but life is too tough to leave any self-esteem on the table.
Step #3: Share your story
You’ve now given some thought to your favorite forms of communication, and you chose two or three to focus on. Then you started journaling. Now, you’re ready to tell your story.
Start sharing your life. But have a strategy on what you’ll be sharing.
One slight rant before we move on to step #4:
I’m not one to hate on social media. I actually LOVE social media and what it does for us. It’s a solid avenue for inspiring others. But most people use it all wrong. They think that Instagram and Twitter are only for posting the sweet times, the glorious adventures and tra vel and food that we see when life is good. Or if not, they post about every single time their train to work is delayed.
By all means, share the good times. Like I mentioned earlier, it’s ALL MATERIAL. And share how annoying public transit is. But to inspire others you have to show them a glimpse of the misery. Not as a complainer, but as “this is tough, I need your prayers y’all.” You’ll be surprised at how much support will show up.
You don’t have to share EVERY LITTLE THING, but show a good balance of the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Before you share, go through this checklist:
- Is what I’m about to share going to give hope to someone else?
- Is this gonna help someone else solve a problem they currently have?
- Is it gonna help someone out there feel less alone?
- Is this gonna help someone get to know me better, and trust me more?
If you can answer yes to one of the above, post it.
And Finally…
Step #4: When you see the opportunity, or when asked, HELP.
We’ve reached the final frontier, where all the magic happens.
By following the first 3 steps you’re gonna get REALLY good at telling your story. Trust me, at first you’ll hear crickets. It’s gonna feel like nothing’s moving. But change is a funny thing. It happens slowly at first, then all at once.
You’re gonna hit a tipping point, and people will start coming to you for advice, or for help. You’ll feel like an impostor at first. But no, other’s know EXACTLY what you can help them with. They know what you’re good at. Because they’ve followed your story they will trust you MORE than even you trust yourself. To them you’re the real deal. BELIEVE THEM.
Help them.
Now, a word of caution: I’m not saying to become a fool and let others take advantage of you. You can’t help much if your cup is empty. You’re the designated manager of your resources and time, so be firm but kind. I wish I had a formula to give you, but I haven’t discovered one yet. This is where trial and error will be your best friend.
But trust me, during this step you have to lead with generosity. It’s scary, and time will be scarce. Then, you’ll notice problems that were tough for you before will start disappearing on their own, with the help of those same people who now trust you.
Now Go Start:
To repeat the steps:
First, pick the avenues you’ll use to tell your story. The arts help. So does the internet and social media. Don’t try to do everything at once.
Second step: Journal every day. Figure out what your struggles really are. And find out where you want to go.
Third step: Share. Not everything, but a good balance of the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
Fourth step: Help. The opportunities will present themselves. Be as generous as time will allow, but not more.
The beautiful thing is that it’s all material. When things are good, great! Share that. When things are bad, it makes the story even better.
By sharing your story you now own your suffering, so it doesn’t own you.
Keep telling your story. You’ll get where you need to go
Music by:
Ben Murray-Smith Soundcloud
Julian Avila Soundcloud
